Are you an early riser? or not a morning person? Do you come alive and do your best work after midnight? or cannot think creatively after lunch? And whichever one you are, is your partner the same type?
Over the past 25 years, I have tended to get out of bed earlier in the mornings than my dearest life partner. My schedule has meant that I need to get up earlier for work, or to get the kids ready. At the moment I get up at 6a.m. because my daughter needs to get the school bus at a set time.
6 a.m. is way too early for him, and he lets me know it, goans and complaints from under the bed clothes are the norm, he sounds like a bear with a sore head if he is woken before his scheduled alarm call an hour later than mine.
I do what I can not to disturb him (he is my dearest life partner after all) and try not to turn on the light in the bedroom, or make too much noise. But the other day I discovered something new about him. He had left his mobile phone in the living room, and his 7 a.m. alarm rang as I was preparing breakfast. Going to turn it off, the message on the phone was “Good Morning, John, enjoy your day!”
And I realised he really wants a pleasant wake up call, but my early rising interfers with his ideal start to his day. What an amazing fact! I’m going to take special care that I allow him to wake up his way from now on – especially as we are at the beginning of an exciting new work project, and will be working very closely together over the next months.
If your waking times don’t coincide with your partner, and their reactions are impacting you and you want to talk about it, then contact me on firstname.lastname@example.org for more information, or to book a relationship coaching session.