So often I hear from women who are reaching the end of the line in terms of their partners addiction and are facing the dilemma of whether to stay in the relationship or go towards a new future.

I don’t know the answer to that but what I do know is that these women are strong, loyal, caring, amazing women. Whether they hold down a high paid job, run their own business, or are super homemakers they are all working far harder than average to pay the bills, keep a roof over their families heads, and maintain a normal home life.

What I also know is they are doing it all without recognition and acknowledgement from their addicted partner. In fact its more than likely that the partner spends a lot of time criticising and putting down their efforts.

I could write a blog post listing all the ways an addicted partner can crush your self esteem, and how to move on and give it the title “seven steps to building self esteem”. I could write a blog advising how to leave the relationship “3 steps to a quicky divorce” but its not how I work because I know each situation is unique.

Some people feel they don’t have the courage to leave the relationship, others feel they don’t have the patience to stay. In the meantime, this blog post is simply an acknowledgement of just how amazing, awesome, and brilliant each of you are.

There is a saying “You don’t go to the hardware store for bread” and I guess I just want to give you the bread you are not getting from your addicts because you deserve to hear it:

  • You are strong
  • You are doing a great job
  • You will make the right decisions at the right time for the right reasons.
  • You don’t have to do this alone

Talk to someone be it a friend, a relative, your doctor, or the police. Don’t talk to get solutions, talk to discover what your options are. If you don’t know who to talk to, or you don’t want people close to you to know the extent of your problem there are organizations that can help you. Contact Al-Anon for families of alcoholics (and addicts), or if know you are facing clear physical and mental abuse there is the Blijf group Or simply write to me.